


object x reader

by fluffmaster1827



Category: household items
Genre: Crack, I Poured My Heart And Soul Into This, I might do a water x reader, ahhhhhhb, and be proud damnit, and it’s worth it, dear god forgive me for my sins, leeeeeeeeeeeegsss, object x reader, objects - Freeform, oh dear sweet baby jesus forgive my ass, so accept it, what did I dooo, what the hell have I done with my life, why, yes that’s what you do, you fuck a table, you table-fucker, you the reader fuck a table in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25796962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffmaster1827/pseuds/fluffmaster1827
Summary: sothis is what I have decided to do with my life.and this is what you have decided to do with your life.why
Relationships: chair/reader, pineapple/reader, table/reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 1





	object x reader

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilly. you asked for this](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lilly.+you+asked+for+this).



One day you were walking around the store, simply browsing and bored out of your skull. then, something incredible caught your eye. A beautiful oak wood table.

it gleamed in the artificial light, an intricate pattern carved on the top. and its legs, oh it’s beautiful legs. it’s legs were smooth and shiny. and even more important, they existed. they were beautiful leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegs. and although you overused the word beautiful that was the only thing you could think of to describe this level of perfection.

although the table couldn’t move or really see you knew that it had caught you staring at its handsome leeeeeegs. i mean, who wouldn’t. you blushed and looked away, scared that the table might not like you. after all, someone as handsome as that could never take an interest in your ass.

“hey” it said in a deep baritone voice.   
finally you spoke up “Daaamn” you exclaimed. you couldn’t help it. you thought perfection hadn’t existed until you saw this table.

you ordered it from the store that very day. 

when it finally arrived at your house/apartment you couldn’t wait. you stared at it in all it’s gloriousness.  
you never thought you’d be in love with a table before. you never thought you swung that way. but still... there was something about this one that was utterly intoxicating. something that made you fall apart before this piece of furniture. some magic spell of love.

to be honest, it was probably those goddamn leeeeeeeeeegs doing this.

it was then that you realized that it didn’t have a tablecloth on yet. _of course._ you blushed and looked away, incredibly flustered your face hot and heart thumping out of your chest like a freaking… idk but whatever it was it was fast. oh god. you don’t know how you didn’t realize that before.

“hey babyyyy like what you see” it said with that beautiful, entrancing voice, that only a table like that can have. my god, that voice was so incredibly sexy. it should be made to be illegal to have a voice that goddamn sexy. 

finally you couldn’t hold back. “Hell yeah” you said moving closer and closer with each step. finally your lips connected with the table’s rough, unpolished surface. you begin making out with the table, kissing deeper and deeper with each passing moment. it let you touched everywhere ,even the sacred, beautiful leeeeeeeeeeegss. you wanted the table, no you _needed_ the table. eventually, but inevitably your clothes came off, too. all for a goddamn table.

by the end of the day you could cross something off your bucket list.

yes. you did exactly what you think that you did.

you fucked a table.

I don’t know why or how but that’s exactly what you did.

oh well. anything is possible when there’s leeeeeeeeegs involved.

you table-fucker.

**Author's Note:**

> well 
> 
> ARE YOU PROUD OF MEEEEEEEE ?????????


End file.
